Sideline Officials

Relationship Building and Good Communication

It is critical to build a good relationship with Team Managers and other team members.  There are times that you need to insist things get done and there are also times when you will need their help. Everyone involved has different jobs to do, but communicating positively and effectively should help you to perform your role.  

Good, positive relationships, even if they are only for a short time, are built on healthy communication. 

Healthy conversations

Unhealthy conversations

Intention: 

  • Learn 
  • Understand 
  • Solve 
  • Strengthen relationships 

Intention: 

  • To be right 
  • To win 
  • To protect yourself 
  • To avoid 

Result in: 

  • Better connections 
  • Clarity 
  • Energy 
  • Aligned action 

Result in: 

  • Less connection 
  • Less clarity 
  • Less energy 
  • More defensiveness 

Come from an approach that is: 

  • Open 
  • Curious 
  • Learning 

Come from an approach that is: 

  • Closed 
  • Defensive 
  • Being right 

 

Unhealthy conversations can be described by two behaviours: 

  • Fight behaviour: 
    • Attack, blame, judge, criticise 
    • Defend or justify 
    • Assume negative intent 
    • Interrupting 
  • Flight or Freeze behaviour: 
    • Withdraw or escape 
    • Withold 
    • Fake agreement 
    • Avoid conflict 
    • Restrict information.

Common language used in these scenarios are: 

  • Yes, but… 
  • But you… 
  • You always… 
  • You should… 

To help to avoid, or remove yourself from, unhealthy conversations, try the following techniques to reframe the interaction: 

  • Pause, breathe, move 
  • Put yourself in the other person’s shoes 
  • Assume positive intent. 
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